and i’m sitting here twirling my hair
listening to this mixtape
and i picture you
at my door
with a candle
not a big one
a little one
a little candle
cause you’re big enough to use a little candle
you know you don’t need the candle
but you use it.
you light it.
you hold it.
and it makes your eyes glisten.
and it makes our breath noticeable
as the flame flickers.
and it is so enticing
you kill me
you kill me every time.
every fucking time
and i hate you.
but that candle…
like the kind you put on a birthday cake
with those swirls and stripes?
cause that’s how you are
you’re like a fucking birthday cake candle
that holds all the wishes
and i melt you with my breath…
it feeds the fire…
every time i go to blow out the candles,
it’s suddenly like i’m trying to send a boat out to sail
on this wave that i don’t know what to do with.
i don’t know what to do with it.
i can’t put it out.
i just keep breathing and i just wonder…
what happens to these wishes that are illusory?
and so, like most birthday cakes,
i dip my finger into the icing and only take a little sample…
and then i easily, yet kinda slowly,
stroke my fork into and through the chocolate cake portion
and i open my mouth, and i inhale…
i don’t inhale the cake like food addicts do
but, i inhale because i need some breath support to handle this-
tasting this one bite.
this one bite of you.