She felt herself sink into the hard, wooden, folding chair in the church basement and took a deep breath. She practiced this before. There were 6 other women here and after hearing about their addictions, she felt more secure in sharing her own, but was slightly embarrassed that she was even there. Her therapist pushed the idea for weeks.
“I need to get a grip, I know, But the only thing I want to grip onto are his shoulders. Has this been my life’s biggest tease? Why, yes. Yes, it has. Shoulder lust. It’s my thing.”
She bit some skin off of her lip.
“I’m not sure this will stop…just like you all said. It’s like an obsession thing.”
She chewed on the piece of skin.
“I can’t stop thinking about him. Maybe it seems mild compared to your stories of …well…your stories. …..I just keep thinking about grabbing him by the shoulders…like…i want to pull him on top of me and inside of me and watch him melt. I want to grip his shoulders while I’m on top, too, while my hips….well….I can’t stop thinking about grabbing his shoulders. Like, I don’t know what else to do ..when I close my eyes, that’s what I see.”
Deep exhale. She uncrossed and then crossed her opposite leg.
“So…I guess I’m supposed to follow your format, huh…OK..”
She took another deep breath.
“Hi.” (Pause). “I’m Jaycee and I suffer from shoulder lust. This is my first session.”
The group replied in unison,