i can fly

Tags

change, fly, goodbye, grief, loss, transformation

and so its time to run.
run harder.
i buried a brother,
reignited another,
and watched my feet
soar in splits over
some hurdles.
so now, if i run even harder,
i will leap even farther.
maybe i can be peter pan for the day.

no more black magic

Tags

black magic, ego, goodbye, growth, identity

he asked her,
“do you believe in magic?”

and she replied,
“have you found yourself yet?”

he hated being dismissed.
but he was.
*pooooooof*

amongst the redwoods

Tags

bury, hold on, Journal, mythology, phenomenology, poem, rebirth, redwoods, transform

as soon as i smelled nag champa
it was like breathing in
a visual wave of images
from a time ago

of colors
and free wind
and flowers all around
and like the ephermal whisp
i transported for a moment
to a version of my fairy child
from years ago….

she’d been buried
before this …

back when i had to bury you,
i was left with this
thick and disgusting mud
all over myself.
my wings broke off
from the unbearable weight
and the stench even singed
some scars on my face
it’s like

i buried myself
burying you
and all i really wanted
was for you to live

i thought the path home
would be lined with gold,
with flowers, and I’d skip
through some canopies, delighted!
but instead,
it was horrific and dark,
covered in mud and leaves and bugs
crawling thru caverns and sharp shells and rocks
whilst trying to remove
this false layer of self
that served as some kind of protection.

yet as i journeyed
i grew.
taller.
much much taller.
all these concentric rings
formed around me
and though my feet were
moving slow as molasses,
my spirit was carrying me
upward
into the heavens.

and so,
i bid farewell
to the innocence of
my fairy world dreams
where everything was
quaint and tiny…

as I’ve reemerged…

here.
in this new world
so very very tall now
amongst the red woods

basil

Tags

basil, friendship, goodbye, horticulture, hurting like hell, Journal, love, plant, poem, sad

i know you’re gone
but i will keep
watering
your basil plant
like you asked me to.

i always wondered why
you didn’t eat it.
you said you didn’t want to, yet…

maybe it was for me.
so i could keep caring for you
somehow.
even when you were gone.

birds in cages

Tags

againandagain, attraction, birder, birds, breakdown, codependence, detachment, gone, let go, letting go, poem, surrender, transform

some [things] found
when intention
is
liberation

some [things] lost
when intention
is
contraction after attraction

note to self:
watch out for those birds stuck in cages

spilled milk

Tags

adage, cry, effort, experience, feminism, growth, phenomenology, strength, transformation

some old adages one can only learn thru experience:

1. a chapter can be too short
2. an absence really is a presence
3. a heartache is a mass of its own

but one that i’ve learned to be false thru experience….

4. no sense crying over spilled milk

….
no, friends. there is sense crying over spilled milk.
any nursing mother would concur. that takes some energy and time and effort. and the baby screams when there is no milk
so to whomever said that …. perhaps you never made milk. perhaps you weren’t there to console the baby that was waiting for that milk. thats my guess. someone else made milk for you and you devalued it and never made it for yourself.
[ side note: maybe thats why the milkman got so popular anyhow. he seemed to understand. ]

so go ahead now…

cry.
cry over your spilled milk.

amazing grace

Tags

blessing, grace, sunday, transformation

live into it
this wave
this light
this wind
my mountain
this drop of
amazing grace
upon drop of
amazing grace

let it be so

morning notes to my bunny

Tags

bunny, calm, guided, imagery, Jung, meditation, phantasm, safety, transformation

hey you little runaway
stop!
it’s okay
you can stay right here
just a little while
the grass is so plush & green
it’s going to be ok
it really is

so take those pointed ears
and relax them
take some deep breaths
and just let me
smooth your fur a little while

i can be your watch dog
i will be alert for you
for at least a little bit?
and i will watch for predators

it’s time now for you to rest now
where it’s warm
and let some calm wash over you
in this little garden.

come now.
i can be your home.
you are found.
and i absolutely, positively
love and adore
every single ounce of you
my darling

chalk it up to this

Tags

agentic, chalk, da sein, doing, growth, heidegger, immortal eve, tools, transcend

clean slate (undoing)
and now more doing
because daaaaaamn!
i love chalk

rolling rrrrrs

Tags

lift, longing, love, Missing, transcendance

are you following me?
i looked over my left shoulder,
pretending there were flowers
in my hair and letting my skirt
twirl like one of those
flamencos.
i didnt see anyone
but i noticed a
bright, quilted blanket
there…
just over there…
dont you see it?
in the grass.

i knew it was you.