block

Tags

Fuck, hurt, hurting like hell, poetry, trash

thank you fucking God for music
that other people authentically expressed
because i can’t seem to get it out right now.

a dream of sandalwood

Tags

Dream, love, poetry, sandalwood, transformation

thank God for things like sandalwood….
you are definitely on my mind today
as you know you are like a dream to me
a dream, that on my lovely days,
I get to enjoy.

disintegration

Tags

fall, forgotten, goodbye, growth, leaf, love, transformation, unrequited

the feeling of being
forgotten…
released, perhaps?

it’s like a leaf that’s fallen from a tree getting trampled on, knowing it’s season is over but also knowing that disintegration serves it’s purpose.

ephemeral

Tags

ephemeral, growth, poetry, transition

there’s a shower of leaves raining down on me and I always try to breathe in this smell so that I remember it…
but it remains ephemeral…
kinda like all the things do.

animus

Tags

Animus, hero, Hero's Journey, Journal, poetry, strength, transformation

today i need you.
I am carrying you
because you carry me.
I hold onto you because
it helps hold me together.

it is something.
its something mystical
its something healing
and it’s something
integrative and glorious.

I’m about to come full circle.
1:30 today.
animus

pouring

Tags

concentric, oneness, poetry, pour, rain, stillness, Venn diagram, Wanting you, wishes

im stuck in traffic

I wish it would rain

first, lightly….. so that I can see the concentric circles and remember that we all have the same center….and then a little harder…. so I can consider how we are connected in a Venn diagram…

and then I hope it fucking pours, so my windshield is just one big waterfall…you know, this oneness bullshit they keep promoting…then i can feel what it’s like to be all enmeshed, smashed together, and I hope, that through some divine mercy,  I end up on top of you.

I need a trunk

Tags

attraction, desire, getit, natural, poetry, Sex, smell, trunk, want

I’m standing in tree pose and I just kind a wish I could find you and make you my nymph…

omg I miss you and I hate you and if you could breathe me in rn….. you would totes be the trunk I need

the moment

Tags

change, free, go, keys, life

it’s that moment…it’s like I’m in a wrinkle in time.  I got the keys and have no idea where these hallways and doors lead, but it feels so free and I know it’s right.  when the moment begins and doesnt end…..

caffeine buzz

Tags

coffee, cream, free, heaven, indulge, live, love, poetry, strength, vitality

today i woke up feeling beautiful and happy for no good reason, but it could be because it’s Friday and im feeling free and im living honestly and in the moment, regardless of the chaos each moment brings. you know, it could be that.

it could also be the new shampoo and deodorant tho, cause they smell a little like heaven and make me feel dreamier, too.

and my morning coffee might have something to do with it, just enough fuel in a half caff, but it started before the caffeine buzz.

on a day like today, any thought of you makes me heart expand and feel warmer and really…. joyful.  you made me smile so much every time you’d call me a crazy dumbass and you somehow reminded me of my strength and who I really am. maybe that’s what it is.

and so today, even if just for the morning, i just really feel grateful for that goodness….of….myself….

i don’t know. I may have just described you as a dreamy, ethereal, heavenly caffeine buzz tho.  i dont know what to say about that because it doesn’t really come close…. but… working with it regardless…

it would be more descriptive to add mounds of whipped cream to that cup except you see, i don’t let myself indulge in that anymore.

because why

Tags

dreams, love, poetry, wish

sometimes when I think of you, im so happy and it makes me float.

sometimes when I think of you, it makes me sad that you have to be gone.

sometimes it makes me laugh because I still can’t even take it …

and sometimes I cry, ….well…..

because because because because becauuuuuuse.

don’t even ask because why