surrender

Tags

isaiah, my path, mystery, Taoism, what path, your path

end of the “calendar” year always makes me reflective. this year….so much, i can’t even articulate it.  next year, i have no idea what to expect.   this morning, I’m reminded of the mysteries of surrendering, the Tao Te Ching, not being able to name the Tao, killing the Buddha on the road, and, of course, how this all parallels Isaiah 55: 8-9. The older I get, the less I know, and I wish I would just let go more easily….it’s such a hard thing for me to do. I am reminded that I am really a Jonah, and my sister’s poem always pops into my head, “Just like Jonah, the whale swallowed me, listening to my god, listening to my god….” (Not sure if she used a lower case g, but for me, that lower case g makes sense of the lyric)….and recognizing, again, that the whale is that empty space for me….What a mysterious and glorious world …. Be blessed. (deep thoughts by smallerandsmaller handy haha)

Little bit

Tags

Debussy, Dream, Monet, poetry, Ravel, Romance, Rousseau

Swirly skied sunrise and sunset

Paired with a hot tea

And a mix in my mind of Monet, Debussy, Rousseau, and Ravel

And a dress that brushes the grass while I walk in a paradise of Spanish moss, dockside

And a basket of books and pens for journaling and lyrical thoughts

And a trio of chicadees giggling in the pines

And a bowl of berries

It’s missing just a few things

But…

It’s a little bit of a dream

 

Mistletoe

Tags

Christmas, Collide, love, Mistletoe, poetry, stars

God I wish I could get you under a mistletoe …

I’m sure we would both see Christmas stars when our worlds collide.

Postmodern dream

Tags

dreams, Everything, love, Nothing, poetry, Postmodern

You mean everything and nothing to me all at once….and that means everything and nothing to me.

my christmas train

Tags

Christmas, poetry, train

riding a crazy train.

i’ve been on the roof, surfing.

i’ve been on the caboose, waving.

i’ve been in the dining car, mostly serving.

the bunks are okay.  i get to sleep.

the scenery is actually amazing.

but the train doesn’t stop, and if i try to step off,

i am reminded of the confines and the steady pace.

i like the pretty colors.

i like how fast it drives.

i like how hard it hits the bends.

i miss the rest of the world.

i see the valleys and mountains and the farms;

i wish i was able to get off the train and visit.

i’d like to meet those people who live in the cottages,

eating their simple meals with bread and wine.

as crazy as this train is, it doesn’t wreck.

it doesn’t stop.

it stays on the track.

all the time.

but there is only one track.

and only one conductor.

and the view and the cars are getting stagnant and i keep recycling the air.

i’ve tried some oil, i even bought some tickets,

but the track just continues.

i kinda want my own train.

where i get to decide which way to go.

when to sleep.

what to eat.

where to go.

and i don’t even need a track.

a train that flies.

no reindeer.

that’s what i want for Christmas.

a flying train.

 

 

white flags and broken sticks

Tags

burn, heidegger, ship, sunrise, surrender, thrown

what is tomorrow.

when is tomorrow.

i’m ready for a sunrise.

i could break every stick in our yard and still wouldn’t feel better.

it just reminds me of how dry and brittle it all is.

i could burn it all.

what is this and where is my tree when i need it.

abandon ship,

raising my white flag,

i surrender.

white flags and broken sticks.

new breaths help but they hurt.

what am i doing.

i feel so thrown and i hate it.

thanks, heidegger.

 

I need a nap

Tags

Arms, Dream, Nap, poetry, Wanting you, Weekend blahs

I cant get it right today.

Blargh, the weekends.

I want to run away.

I want to find you.

I want you to cover me.

Smother me.

Make it all disappear.

Take my breath away and give me yours.

My face wants to know your arms but not the same way my mouth does.

I need a nap.

silver hiking

Tags

found, lost and found, poetry, Silver, silver glockenspiel, silver hike, silver korg, silver lining, silver skies, silver walls

i’m hiking through silver skies

my legs stretch really far out, nearly in a split

i can’t feel the ground, so i just keep stretching

i guess you don’t always need to know your footing

everything’s coming up silver right now

i’m enjoying this silver hike

and though i don’t always like what i’m thinking,

i don’t feel lost-

i feel found.

what an oxymoron.