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i just keep doing the things i’m supposed to,

waiting for my feelings to open,

but mostly,

i just want to go where i’m free,

live the good life,

and smile.

i keep getting glimpses of that feeling without you

and wonder how to bring that home.

Then i wonder, maybe i am home but you are not.

Maybe i am just living the “should” life,

curious about the “could” life,

and expecting it to convalesce into the “good” life.

oh “would” obligatory actions only create the ideal.