make me giggle
they were the craziest things
i just giggle.
some of those
kinds of memories,
i’m working on my brave love.
the kind that says:
things will be okay, even when they don’t seem like it.
i got this.
life is a long time and sometimes,
you have to leap more than once.
even if the last leap was terrifying.
even if the next leap is terrifying.
something else always carries you through.
i got this.
i listened to the moody blues album you gave me tonight
since you are getting married tomorrow
i thought i should let it all go.
in case i was holding on without realizing it.
i was expecting some dramatic emotional display on my part.
ain’t got time for that shit.
thought i did? i truly expected to be all sad tonight.
all the train rides, expectations, sequoias, sunsets….
countless books and albums…
i must’ve done this before. released you.
like james brown dancing.
bass and horns. maybe a table top.
james brown GETS ME.
he gets me.
we never agreed on that kind of energy anyway.
i was always too much high for you.
see ya around.
maybe the kids you didn’t want to have will be friends with mine someday.
i heard the freaking crows this morning.
i ignored it, but you know how they don’t really let you ignore them.
you’d be proud that i didn’t call them ravens.
i can’t write any more tonight.
i’ve been composing music without words,
because i don’t want to hear my thoughts.
what i really want to do,
is listen to the cure,
feel sorry for myself,
and think of you.
and just think of you.
and maybe stab myself.
i heard “Just Like Heaven” on the radio today.
Ruined my damn day.
so i listened to it again.
just to ruin it a little more.
it was lovely.
and so now i’m stuck on the playlist.
“friday, i’m in love”, “love song”,
“Just Like Heaven”,
but i can’t watch them because they whig me out.
i love the way you spin me
and my hair’s flying like a whispy wildflower.
you free me to fly but catch me like i’m your very own kite
a kaleidoscopic kite
you pull me down on you,
but just for a quick taste,
and then i’m whirling in the wind again
the breeze tickling where you licked me
but there’s a canopy overhead
keeping me from flying away from you
and there’s a trampoline below
so that we are constantly colliding into one another
just the way it should be
i feel like a pixie doll, filled with ecstasy,
hanging from your arms
you must know all the tricks of the trapeze artist
the way that you keep catching me after i fall.
i grab onto your flexed trapezoids and
don’t want this circus to end,
unless we are both shot out of the cannon together
all the way back to the star we came from