“Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?”
― Kurt Vonnegut
This morning I am attempting to lift the lid and deconstruct my “block” to get back on the wp map. So far it’s not working.
I’ll imagine my block with 6 sides and at least try to name them.
1. baby; 2. summer; 3. yugoslavia obsession; 4. spiritual life; 5. health; 6. chaos
Side one that is interfering- I am five months pregnant and am in the midst of prepping house and prepping baby shower stuff. I don’t really wish to write about either of those in detail as they’ve already consumed me enough.
Side two- it’s my summer time 🙂 I lost my wifi lap top (had to give it back to work) and am rarely even inside at the computer. Hiking, biking, walking, ice cream, cheesecake, giggling girl friends…just too much fun 🙂 again, writing about this would be cool if we had some adventures, but it’s really been more like chill, chill, chill.
Side three- I’ve become consumed with researching Yugoslavia (mostly the history of its’ dissolution) and haven’t really formulated enough opinion/idea about this yet, though I expect that I will write incessantly about it soon enough.
Side four- I visit several churches/spiritual groups during the week as a centering practice….taize, mass, yoga, meditations, and my mind is preoccupied with the greater things that are gifts from God. I could write and write about this, too, but I haven’t decided to. 😛
Side five- My health is really important to me and we are trying to eat almost all organic/whole foods during the pregnancy. This takes more time to prep, clean up, and shop for. Perhaps I should share my favorite recipes, but I do that at a different blog, so it seems redundant. We read hours worth of material about vaccination for the baby, birthing options, laboratory essays about nutrition, breast feeding, chemical exposure, etc We will have one healthy baby, I’m sure, but it’s just not fun to write about :).
Side six- ah. now here’s the juice 🙂 I am reading (re-reading, perhaps) research about creativity and am reminded that I stray toward the Dionysian category of both appreciation and expression. The issue for me (why I’m stuck in a block) is because a BLOCK is geometrical and geometry, alone, is so Apollinian/Masonic/structured and ….sigh…I guess, confining! (for me).
So, forgive this rant of a blog, but it needed to be done to help me find my way out, in, or through. in summary, I’ve just been too orderly & organized to create! I am due an adventure, or perhaps a little indulging get away 🙂 (wish it could be to Slovenia or Yugoland!)